so much is going through my head right now.

so i dont know whats going on but i have about 50 milion things running through my head. the past few days i cant stop thinking about everything thats going on in my life. Things are so changed and keep changing everyday. im not sure whats going on inside me but things are not the way they were. im not really sure what excatly that means yet ,but all i know is that things are tearing at my heart,mind, and soul and i need to quickly figure out what to do with them.
i think back three years ago... me and my three best friends were quickly nearing the departure of the two most influential people in our lives. I know it may seem sappy and dramatic ,but that summer changed my life. They left. we had no idea how to live our lives without them. we lived our lives according to their rules and to what they wanted us to do. We were at our dance studio more than in our homes or at school. We stayed up into the late hours of the night rehearsing over and over again, hot gluing sequins and tacky rhinestones onto countless costumes, stapling packets together, standing out in the freezing cold funraising, waking up after three hours of sleep on a cold wood studio floor just to get up to sunny d and start rehearsals again for another six hours.. and you know what? i miss it. I look back now and yeah they werent always really happy times but the happiness then just isnt the same as the "happiness" i have now. It seemed so much more pure and genuine. This really wasnt meant to be an emo post sorry hah. I just cant seem to grasp that all this time has past. im about to be done with my sophmore year of college and im going to be 20 this year. so much is changing and has changed. the scary part is that this is just the beginning. wow. i cant even imagine what else is gonna come. life is tremendous. told ya i had alot going through my head...

its definetly almost 5 in the morning..

yeah, so i decided to hop on the bandwagon after all. i may be a little late on the trend of blogging (which what does that actually mean by the way?) ,but i am really excited to be starting it. I used to use xanga ( you know you did too..) and i used to be pretty dedicated so we'll see how this goes. I cant promise you nobel prize worthy speeches or pulitzer prize worthy poetry on this site, but ill will give you what ive got. If you like it... sweet. If you dont... well... just dont tell me. haha. In all seriousness (since blogging is the most serious thing ever) i cant wait to start this kind of thing again. See, i enjoy journaling, but it hurts my hand and i usually forget like a whole week then i cant remember things or details and it just ends up being worthless entry and waste of paper, but seeing im on the computer everyday creeping on facebook ( once again you know you do it too...) or doing some wikipediaing and googling ...this just might work a little bit better. so yay!! im an official blogger... i feel awesome, except that its five in the morning... thats not really so awesome... so goodnight, or goodmorning whichever you look at it ,its good..deep.